i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
