Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
