You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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