I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
