just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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