The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
