my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
