i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
