Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
