I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
