i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
