just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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