sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
