This girl is more easily done than said...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
