so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
