We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
