dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
