I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
