dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
