wat bout pragnant strippers??
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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