Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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