I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
