going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
