dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
