this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
