6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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