he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
