sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
