i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize