My first STD was from a foam party
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
