Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
