Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
