Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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