i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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