I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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