this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
