Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
