I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
