I just pynch a tree in the face
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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