I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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