so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize