My brain says no but my pants say off.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
