Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
