You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
