I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
