I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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