We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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