if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize