The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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