The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
