Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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