hotel room ftw
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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