Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
