What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
