Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
