This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
