im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
