I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
third nipple confirmed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize