what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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